Oh gosh, MWG, so sorry to hear about your S. I really hope this is a wake up call for him to straighten his life out. It's so sad that his F is such a poor example to him. It makes me cry to see this happen to your S. Hopefully, he won't get such a long sentence, maybe they could make him go to rehab or something, because prison does nothing to help kids like him. I will pray for you to recover financially and find work, your S, that everything continues to go well for your other kids, and for your H, that he finally reaches out for help. God bless you, you've been through way too much. vc
MWG, I and others have talked to you in the past about these things..... First, I'm sorry your son has decided to make some poor choices. I told you back in time that I felt that a little punishment would have done him some good, you didn't feel that way. Your son knew the boundaries of his probation, but yet decided to risk that by doing something foolish. Of all the things, DUI is the dumbest, there are so many avenues for people to get transportation, its really silly to drive intoxicated. He knew that any run-ins with the law would result in jail time and he did it. I think he needs some punishment to show him that he won't be rescued every time he gets into trouble. I really think you have done all you can for your family, I think you have gone above and beyond for everyone. I think its time for you to think about yourself and make a new start for you, that includes your H as well. Get yourself away from this drama and stress.
Fines, one day in jail and suspension of his license for one year. I thought for sure he would get more time but he did not.
I wish I could get away from here, BH, but I cannot. Not at this time. No money and no job means I have to stay put.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Your son got off lucky. He will get more time if he continues down this path. I'm sorry he's on this path, but you know the drill, he's got to hit bottom before he'll wise up and begin to float back to the top. He's lost his way and it's going to take some work for him to get back on track. His father isn't any help to him and that's unfortunate as he needs his father now more than ever.
I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
S20 is going into rehab. We are working out the details and he will be going out of state and he will be there for a minimum of 1 year.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I am glad he is going to rehab. He has to see that he would have a long life of hell if he went down the same path as his F. My F was an alcoholic, so I see what it can do to the next generation. I have a sister who I believe is an alcoholic, though she has denied it. My F was never able to have normal relationships with his family. It's like the alcohol damaged that part of him. I loved him dearly, and I know he loved me, but I could always see that something was missing in him. He quit drinking, but that part of him never recovered. So, I am glad your S is getting help from rehab at a relatively young age, before it does permanent damage to him. God bless you and your family vc
Rehab is only effective if HE WANTS TO DO BETTER..... Not sure he does, but I guess we will see. I hope things improve for you, I really do, but I don't think they will until you decide to make some changes in your life, and I'm not sure you want to. I mean seriously, we can sit here and give a thousand excuses to why you stay in your situation, but the truth is, it won't change until you make some changes.
So sorry you are facing so much going on. I don't have any words to help, but I am thinking of you and praying for you.
