Trying not to hope is hard

[25yearsmlc]

have you read the book(s) Divorce Busting or the 2nd and better one, "Divorce Remedy" yet?

Please do so asap so you understand the approach here. It's step #1.

Your decisions and approach have been so so. Not horrible but not helpful and not the Div busting way yet.

So read the book(s) so you "get it" for this site.

At DB, We take the simple but radical concept of solution based therapy-- finding and doing more of what works in a marriage, and

less/none of what does not.

Sounds like you don't know what works but are doing some of what does not.

Don't focus so much on how you got here or what happened to you when you were 12 or the molestation your w may have endured.

all those things matter, but are not addressed HERE b/c we're all about

solution based therapy. Be here now.

Own what you must about your part in getting here, even though it sounds as if you are not.

Meaning, what is it about YOU that you can change and feel good about?

Bottom line if your w doesn't want to be married to you as you are now.

So in order for HER to want to be married to YOU,

she must believe the marriage can improve which probably means she has to believe

YOU are changing. Or her 'Data" isn't real. So if she says you are hot tempered, you become uber calm and laid back

if she says you never help around the house, YOU HELP!


Be the best dad you can be now too. No woman is unmoved by the loving interaction of her child with their father. It's a turn on for many and a reason to stay for others...plus your kids need you now more than ever.
[b]
Concede some things needed changing in YOU and work on those--

b/c if you don't concede that, nothing will change and she won't come back.

Don't make this about being "right"
[/b]

make it about being happy, together.