Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[In_Shock]

Ok, now i want to answer some of your questions 25years from the long post.

As much as i keep backsliding and talking too much, I'm doing better on dbing in some small ways, and small victories are better than none.

Ok, S4 is adopted, but to make it more complicated we r in a state where i have no real legal rights. W is going through a bad period now but she would not separate S and me. She's not a bad person, she's not they type. She says she wants what is best for him ultimately.

financially i make more. She is a mental health therapist (go figure... :o) so her pay is not much. Financially, I know its easier for her to stay at home.

What are my 180s's? I talked to my MIL friday for the first time really in all these years - I'm being more assertive in other words in many ways. I'm trying to talk less and listen more. I have gone out a couple of times with and actually made a couple of new friends.

How to detach from this person I've loved so long with all my heart but apparently didn't do enough//????? Oh I'm having an obsessive day now that I knwo she's going out to see OW. Make my mind a blank. Be happy. Don't let her know it's killing me.