Oh AC.... Please don't self medicate. Get some anti-anxiety and/or anti depressants. Self medicating is so dangerous.
One thing you said really hit me --"I am somewhat flabbergasted that my partner of 20 years can just eradicate me from her life. I wouldn't be able to do that to her. Maybe that is my problem" This sounds like so many of us that find ourselves here. I cannot believe that my partner of 13 years can move on happily with OW, seemingly forgetting the whole sharing a life/family/good and bad/ better and worse stuff. I've had a really difficult time accepting that she might be able to do that.
We have to keep giving them time and space, yes, but at the same time keep taking care of ourselves. I have days when absolutely nothing makes me smile. He!!, if I won the lottery, right now it's likely I would pay off my house and then go back inside and cry. *** ridiculous but true!
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
