I'm still here

[~¤DG¤~]

I am frustrated because I had this big long post that I deleted by mistake and now I have to start over. Grrrrrr

Telemark-you are correct when you say my H is acting like a tool. I think that is why this is so hard sometimes. He was always the kindest, loving, and thoughtful man and his new attitude and behavior floors me.

Like you, I also have animals who can sense when I am down. One cat in particular adores me and always gazes up at me with this look of pure amazement on his face. I swear, if everyone loved me the way this cat does I'd be the luckiest woman in the world.

This whole situation has really turned in to a learning experience for me. For years I had walls built up around my heart and tried my best to block out any pain or sorrow that could come my way. I felt numb. I've since realized that while I may be blocking out the pain I was also blocking out the joy and love. I don't want to live that way anymore. Even though I am feeling broken hearted, the beauty of it all is that I am feeling. No it isn't the best feeling in the world but it does give me hope that if I am capable of feeling pain I am also capable of feeling positive feelings.

I try to find something to be grateful for every day. They may not be live changing things, but so what. It reminds me that I am here and I am alive and that no matter what, every day does possess positives that is up to me to discover.

Well, I've certainly rambled on more than intended, but it feels good.

Happy Sunday DB'ers.