I'm still here

[Telemark]

Here you go, DG...one from me, too (((DG)))

I understand the missing him part. I think we miss not so much our spouses - at least, not the crazy persons they have become - but who they used to be. I woke up around 5:00 this morning, and the shape of the pillows on the bed next to me made me think she was there, so instinctively I reached over to put my arm around her. That was difficult to deal with first damn thing in the morning.

I knew if I stayed in bed I would be overwhelmed with sorrowful thoughts so I got up, made a pot of coffee and sat outside, in the dark, with The 3 Hounds. As dogs can do, they knew I was hurting and all piled around my feet.

Don't want to make this about me, but to tell you that #1) I think of you often and understand your pain (to paraphrase Bill Clinton...) and #2) these feelings will come and go. It's not so much whether we feel them - because we will - but what we do when they hit us.

Zero in on yourself and the kids; that will help soothe some of that feeling.

And your H is acting like a first class tool. You deserve better.