To DB, or not to DB, that is the question.

[25yearsmlc]

endeavor

I wonder if you can ask your "semi-WAS on the seesaw 4forever", if HE could go dark for awhile?

Sheesh...enough already. Sorry but I had to ask...

Do you have at least an internal timeline of how long you can do this endurance test? I think it makes it easier to know that at some point you will not be in limbo no matter what they do.

(It helped me at least. I had a d in high school and knew when she was done 18-24 months later, I would be done too, one way or the other.)

I actually wonder if YOU making a move would get him out of his fog. Not saying it will, but letting him have power he isn't able to wield in a mature

way, isn't working too well for you or the kids I'd imagine. They need predictability and reliability (and you need a sane partner?)...

Seriously though, what if you took some of your power back?

If you have tried that (i confess being new to your thread) how'd it go?

[Endeavour]

Hi 25,

Thanks for your comments/questions. I will definitely have some responses for you in my new thread (before this one gets locked).

"Semi-WAS on the Seesaw 4forever" actually sounds like the perfect name for my new thread. Unfortunately.

Look for one with that name.

[ESN]

Might I recommend a book for you that helped me a lot. Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody.

It's something my MC gave us to read. I read it - he didn't. It helped me understand my ex-boyfriend's love avoidance, and our very "co-addicted" R that went round and round - not as much and as intensely as yours, but it helped give me insight.

Just a thought.

[Endeavour]

Thanks, Lila. I will definitely look into that book.

You might want to also check out -- How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

I find it's helping me make some sense of my sitch too. You might also find it interesting, as I think it might explain why your exBF seems confused at times as well.

Anyway, I'm taking this over here:
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