I've got 54 days to receive a miracle.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks everyone. I had a better day today until I came home from work. I'll explain a little below.

You are right AJ. Worrying does no good, but man I just can't help it sometimes.

What you see is her working on her issues and you cannot help.

I'm not so sure she is working on her issues yet. From what I can tell, she is still in lala land.

First of all, she KNOWS how you feel. Trust me on that.

I hope you are right Brooklyn. I know I've told her, but this no-contact things seems to just go against everything. I'm still doing it though.

She needs to continue on her journey.

I know this, but her journey apparently includes divorce.

25, yes what you said makes sense. Perfect sense actually. I just don't understand why she hates me so much and blames me for EVERYTHING. She can see no good right now. I don't know if it is because of the "fog" or if she just refuses to.

UPDATE:

While I was at work, she came to pick up S16. Of course she had to come into the house and sit down. Why? Who knows. S18 was also here. She wanted to take them both out for an early dinner. S18 refused. That is 2 times in two weeks that he refused to go with her.

Also, while she was here, she and S18 got into a very big argument about the divorce and how she "tried to hold this family together for so many years." S18 said he lost it and just went off on her. Apparently, it got pretty ugly between them. He even caught her in a few lies. She accused me, S16 and S18 of being dillussional and "high" because we don't see things her way. She went on and on about how unhappy she has been for years and how she never got to do what she wanted. That's when S18 said something like "Daddy did everything to make you happy all of the time. You just can't see it. You're the one that didn't do a damn thing in return to make him happy." That is when she got really p!ssed off got up and slammed the door and left with S16.

I'm so glad that I wasn't here to witness it. I'm actually surprised that she hasn't contacted me yet blaming me of "brainwashing" our children against her. I think it is good that she hears things like that from other people besides me, but doesn't that just push her further away?

In other news, a lovely lady at my new job invited me to dinner next week. Good God.

Ug.

Tad