you are a bit all over the place.That means you are not behaving with consistency which is key to her trusting your changes. Not you talking about them but by being the changes.
You'll say you feel empapthy for her one minute and you're angry the next.
You also forgot how you got here. Of course your w doesn't trust the changes b/c you only made them after she said she wanted a divorce.
she was lonely for a long time inside this marriage. Her needs went unmet for a long time and now you want to put all this on her and how wrong she is...
Most of your changes are vague character claims like "being more patient" but in truth when it gets tough (here) you lack that trait.
Whereas Volunteering at the hospital is a good specific GAL.
Since I'm a L I have to say I'd suggest your w see one to get clarity and you are not the neutral party she needs info from. Nor do I think she's "dependent" on her L but you also said you hoped she was talking to someone. Well which is it, you want her to talk to someone or you want to control who that is?
The L won't be your worst enemy b/c she'll tell your w what to expect financially and if it's as grim a picture as you paint I'm sure she is torn.
But that is not necessarily guilt.
Back off, be kind.
Work on your real issues which are the piece of this puzzle you own.
Stop all this obessing about her under the guise of concern.
Even if it's real it isn't in your control.
and it reeks of control...again, back off big time. Be there for your sons. Do YOUR work and only yours.
Let some good memories resurface in her and create some for your boys. Don't argue with her anymore...it's just forcing her to defend those choices over and over and you are cornering her.
Plus you didn't answer my earlier question which is telling.
How hard are you making this for her?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
