-My wife is still here...she hasn't made any moves toward a legal separation or divorce. -We get along great and she still describes me as her best friend. -She has begun to confront her issues and her contributions to her own unhappiness. She has admitted to me some pretty..."flawed" things about herself that she certainly didn't have to share with me. -She is open to and accepts my invitations to do things together (i.e., dinner out, Ren Fest for her birthday, trip to the cabin in October). -She invites me to do things with her (i.e., asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her). -She showed me a list of things she had been unhappy about in the relationship, and seems open to accepting my efforts to change those things, if not now than at least in the future. -She says she is not interested in anybody else, and that if any other men were to hit on her she would tell them she's not interested. -She has acknowledged that if there is one and only one thing I deserve from her right now, it's honesty about her feelings, her intentions, and her plans, and she says she will share them with me. -She expresses appreciation for things I've been doing for her, and for the changes I've been making for myself. She says the changes she's seen me undergo have inspired her to do some tough work on herself...and that she's simply amazed by the way I've handled myself in the months that followed her dropping the bomb.
The negatives:
-She hasn't made a verbal commitment to staying in or working on the marriage. -She doesn't say "I love you." (of course neither do I at this point). -She does not wear her wedding ring. -Physical contact is extremely limited (she will accept massages from me, and usually gives me a hug before she leaves for work, but that's it). -We only have 2 months before we're forced to decide if we're going to buy the house we're currently renting, find some other place to live together, or find places to live separately. I worry that this will force her to make a decision about "us" before she's ready to. -I believe her whole-heartedly when she says she's not involved with someone else, but I'm less certain that there isn't someone who is pursuing her or waiting in the wings. -She appears to be in the midst of a full-swing midlife/identity crisis... She seems almost obsessed with returning to a time in her life that most of us learn to or just naturally outgrow. She's very "youth culture" oriented right now...essentially immersing herself in a world more suited to a college kid or someone 10 years her junior...looking at her tumblr page is like walking into a college dorm. -Her social circle right now consists mainly of people around 10 years younger than her, single, and childless. They don't exactly give what I would call good counsel.
H: 41 W: 35 M: 9 years T: 10 years S: 9 D: 7 ILYBINILWY & "I want a divorce": 6/22/2011 Piecing: 10/2011 Still going strong as of 4/2013
