OK, I just wanted to talk about the OCD thing. It is an illness. Until I was diagnosed by a doctor I thought I was going crazy. When it was at it's worse when I was reall upset I would count things. Doorways, stop signs. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was always tied up in knots on the inside. When I was upset I would go home and clean. Then I would yell at my family wanting to know why they weren't cleaning too. I couldn't even go to sleep at night if there was a dirty dish in the sink. It was awful. The when I finally got the diagnoses and started taking medicine it helped. But I would still clean and I remember telling my h that he was lazy because he didn't do as much around the house as I did. The reality is no one could do as much as I did. And no one was as hard on myself as I was. So when I say that EVERYTHING my h complained agbout me being is true I mean it. I can actually read a book now, or look at the dirty clothes hamper full and just walk away. You dont know how freeing that is for someone like me. Can you imagine how bad I was after BD. The snooping was just another form of OCD. I just always got caught. I don't do those things anymore. Unless you have it you don't understand how it controls everyhting you think and do
I'm pretty sure my W would never be clinically diagnosed... she definitely has a ... lean... though... even she says it...
She wouldn't necessarilly keep cleaning something that was already clean, but things like vacuuming... or perfection (the quarter bounce on the bed)... and of course, I'm... less than concerned about those things...
So on medication, things are better...? Yet you still have episodes? Do you recognize it in you if you start into the behaviour?
Yes on medication it got better but since BD and counseling it is almost gone nad when I do feel it creeping up I can control it and redirect it into something else. I dont feel tied up anymore. If it's the only thing good that comes out of this mess then Im a better person for it
