I'm still here

[MrBond]

You didn't F up. The main thing is that you notice how he shifted the conversation to it being YOUR fault? What an @$$. A real man doesn't resort to blaming his spouse for his insecurities. He's scared, he feels guilty, but rather than assuming responsibility, he says it's your fault.

I suggest you have no further contact with him. In fact, get counseling for your son ASAP. He's in a tough situation and probably feels torn over what's happening. Concentrate on him.

Your H will lash out again saying that you're trying to brainwash your son, but don't you believe it. Get a L and figure out what your rights are. You don't have to do what he wants to do. Remember, he can't control what you do any more than you can control him.