I've been reading the Midlife Crisis forum again for the past few days. I wonder if that's what I'm dealing with? It would certainly explain some of H's erratic behaviour.
He drinks too much. I believe he's depressed (despite his denial). He has admitted to being very angry over the death of his mother, and knows he is struggling with acceptance (trigger). And he is 41. He's also made statements about life being too short to be unhappy. And I've also noticed him withdrawing from our D16, which is breaking my heart as I don't want her to fear abandonment in her future R's with men.
I'm not sure if it makes that much of a difference if he is in MLC, but I suppose it could affect the way I deal with his confusion.
He sent me a text asking if I needed everything on my LIST wholeheardedly in a M.
I didn't respond.
I have no idea what he wants from me anymore. If I engage him in R talks, he will pull me in with affection and kindess, and then the minute I start feeling a little hope that we might be making "progress" (his words), he will tell me once again that he doesn't see himself growing old with me, and that our M is hopeless.
I can't go through it again.
This time I feel the need to protect myself. I don't even want to be in the same room with him because I feel so raw and vulnerable... and unsafe. I'm starting to feel a sense of panic at the thought of talking to him, or even looking at him.
Perhaps, he is trying to unconsciously push me to my breaking point so that I will throw him out, and then he doesn't have to look like that bad guy?
