I am happy to annouce that I don't try to control any longer. You are correct. I should keep quiet and if it's his decision then it should be so.I don't really want him to move out. Even though he has threatened twice to move out he hasn't. You are wise. What about how he is acting lately. Like my old h. Hasn't shown an attempt to be affectionate or anything but is coming to me for conversation, and even offering to help do dishes. Please advise wise one, I am putty in your hands, mold me.
whatever you are doing is at worst, neutral and at best, helping the situation.
Accept these gifts of time, pleasantness and baby steps of progress. Do not expect more or make more of them than he does. That sets you and him up for failure or dashed hopes. The more moments of progress and the more pleasant times that pass with you, the more bonded he'll feel.
Though you are working on the control issues, the fact that you feel the need to do or say something now, isn't helping you.
Try not to talk about your changes if he is not the one bringing them up. It's R talk for one, and or they'll look like tactics to him, not real or permanent changes made for your own improvement.
If he is the one commenting, accept the compliments but maintain an air of mystery about it, if you can do it without coming off weirdly or inauthentically.
The goal is to get him wondering what other changes and improvements are happening with you...and wouldn't it be nice to find out? (But not with you highlighting them...)
"Just Be here now."
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
