Thank you. Your post cleared up a lot of confusion. I think I had a couple of lightbulbs go off. I didn't realize that this isn't a game that she's playing...knowing that she's confused helps me see things much differently. I wasn't sure how to "go dark", I think I've been a bit cold. I never meant to be, just trying protect myself. I loved the comment you made about unconditional love toward my wife. I'm in this for the long haul.
I had the best day today. I did whatever I wanted and it felt great. I woke up and worked on the DR book...took a long nap (this emotional stuff drains you)...worked on the book some more...then treated myself to a movie. My wife said she didn't have any school clothes for my D so she wanted to come by and pick some up. I put the clothes in a bag, put them on my porch swing, sent a text telling my wife where the clothes were, and then went for a walk. My D lost a tooth today and was excited to show me, so they drove down to the track that I walk at to show me. It was so good to see them. My oldest even looked at me and told me that I was losing a lot of weight, which felt good to hear. My wife and I talked a little bit about the coats she bought the kids. Then they took off and I walked home. There's something to this taking care of yourself thing. This is the first time that I've seen my wife without feeling like crap afterward.
Seeing my kids was amazing tonight. I know there is nothing different seeing them tonight than last night...but, I think taking a day for myself has given me a little extra pep, if that makes sense.
Oh yeah, I was walking tonight and realized that I'm not even thinking about doing it...I just do it. I really enjoy it. I've been doing it for about a month and I feel great afterward. I've lost 30 lbs already. I hated walking before...well at least I thought I did. My point is that this is one of the changes that I've made that is starting to become a habit. That's a huge step for me. One small change can inspire us to make more changes...where have we heard that before?
What a great day! Now off to read some more of DR. Goodnight everyone.
