Can my blah blah blah pt 2?

[a girl]

Thanks, Maryr! I appreciate it.

Got another email from H today (that's 2 in 2 days), asking about the upcoming holiday weekend, and also asking about if we should start working toward changing the visitation schedule.

I like to sleep on his mails if I can, or at least let them percolate in my head for a few hours - I don't like to respond without being very deliberate about my words.

[Julz]

I'm not even sure I'd ever want H back, after what he's put me through, but somehow the idea of them "working out" just makes me sick.

Same. I realise that my marriage is probably over. That one day H will meet someone else and probably marry again, and that I will meet someone (and no I am never getting married ever again!) and live with them. But I don't care who he gets with as long as it's not the OW he is with now. She was a friend (ok only through his work but still) of mine and it sickens me to think of them living happily ever after together.

[jbnati]

I like to sleep on his mails if I can, or at least let them percolate in my head for a few hours - I don't like to respond without being very deliberate about my words.

This is a great approach, AG. Very smart. You definitely want to say the right thing.

[a girl]

Thanks, guys.

H seemed irritable when he dropped S7 off, but I only saw him for about 14 seconds, so I might have been reading it wrong.

At any rate, will respond to him tomorrow - we'll see how it goes.

[~¤DG¤~]

I think it is a good idea to not respond right away, especially if your initial response isn't a positive one. I'm not saying you need to be chipper and hunky dory, but my experience with things is I jump the gun and say something that I almost always regret.

[Julz]

I always wait at least a few hours to reply. These days but all I usually say is That's fine (because it's usually just to confirm pick up or drop off time for the kids).

[a girl]

I'm never tempted to be rude or say too much - in fact, I'm often erring on the side of too little. Much like Julz, I usually say, "That's fine. Thanks!"

In this case, I need to say a little more, so I'm thinking on it. The other thing is, as I've mentioned, I think that he has lost the privilege of being a priority for me, so his emails can wait until I'm done with everything else.

[a girl]

Responded to H in the late morning. Got a fairly long 3-paragraph response back less than 2 hours later.

Sure wish he'd been this attentive when we were together.

[a girl]

My Pottery Barn wall decoration arrived - yay! Too bad it's a long weekend and all my handymen are out of town.

One of my PMs and the "friend" from work offered to come over and hang it for me next weekend, though - hope I can hold out that long!

Next is figuring out what to do to fill space in the built-in where our wedding china used to be.

It's interesting, as I slowly fill up the places in my life where there used to be room for him - there's not really any room for him left.

[JustStunned]

AG, long time lurker, though I think I have posted once or twice.

You're sounding very strong, and it is good to hear.

I plan on filling that space with my own china someday. There will be family meals during holidays in my future.