Devastated Pt 3 - WAH and OW

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=Julz]Ahh thanks. Yeah the last year or so I really wanted to show him how much I appreciate him and love him so wanted to give him some gifts that weren't the usual. Valentines Day 2010 he got the massage vouchers, his birthday (July 2010) the personalised plates, then for our wedding anniversary I got some gourmet rocky road and a teddy bear with a great poem delivered to his work. This year for valentines day I cooked a 3 course meal to die for (he agreed it was great!). I thought I was being a loving and good wife. Him leaving really showed me how little he thought of me and how little the things I did for him were appreciated. [/quote

hmm, not true Julz. You have come to know his love language was physical affection and sex whereas Your love languages were acts of service like making him those meals and giving nice gifts I suspect.

what he did by leaving, was wrong and his not seeing the kids much is incomprehensible. But you can't revise things so much that you forget your role in things or you'll fail to learn the lesson here that will protect you in the future.

IF you reconcile, you will need to own that issue and "owning" means not just admitting it but fixing it...and

if you are with some OM someday, you will need to work on that anyhow...

Hope this makes sense. It's not a 2 x 4. Just a reminder of how you got here. It wasn't all him.

Today HE is responsible for his actions, and you are for yours.

The past...you both own.