time and distance

[any chance?]

While I am down with tendonitis, I am trying to get back into my work as a GAL activity, and trying to do things around the house. Finding it amazingly difficult to concentrate or focus.

Talked to my IC yesterday. Conversations seem somewhat depressing. Not completely sure I can stay in this limbo for months on end, especially with very little contact from my long-distance W. Part of me says she just wants me out of her life for good.

Really need to get on the ball and get out of my funk. This was supposed to be the start of the new me this week!!!

[NTX_Dad]

Are you taking any anti anxiety medicines?

You may want to talk to your primary care doctor about getting some.

[any chance?]

Thanks, NSD. I have been avoiding any medications (other than the self-medication of drinking, which I am attempting to curb). I have always been pretty strong willed, and am hoping I can cope with my sitch via exercise and other GAL activities.

Must admit, the beginning of the third week of my W long distance move is hitting pretty hard. Yes, she needs time and space, but the feeling of being left in the dust is pretty overwhelming, to say the least.

Hope my knee gets better soon.

[Telemark]

I know, AC, we are the Left Behind Spouses. Have you been able to - don't want to use the term "re-decorate"; makes it sound like you would be prancing around with throw pillows in one arm and chiffon curtains in the other - revamp the house at all so it is not such a reminder?

I don't know if you're a reader of self-help books, but I'm reading The Journey From Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. It will give you something to do and, though the exercises she suggests can be a bit odd, it will help you deconstruct what you're going through and help cope with those emotions.

Keep yourself in the present or the very near future...not the past.

[any chance?]

Thanks, Tele:
I am realizing that all my posts are sounding very much the same, and most of that is wallowing in depression. Need to adjust, detach, accept and move forward. W is not coming back, near as I can tell, and I need to recognize that, accept it and start a new life without her. F*** this limbo. Time to move on.

[Telemark]

Re-read my last several posts; same thing.

Today: I'm coming to terms with it. You will, too. It's the end of our marriages. It is NOT the end of our lives.

[jbnati]

AC - Yes, this is the time start your new life.

I hope your knee gets better soon. I know how you feel. Physical injuries that keep me from doing my exercise put me in a funk, too. Try to take advantage of this downtime, though. Find some other interests and activities to fill the time.

As Telemark's mentioned before, try to think about your life without your W. Find yourself.

[any chance?]

Taking the long weekend to try to get my act together.

Thought I might hear from W this last week, but she has gone NC. She left almost three weeks ago, which I know is a very small amount of time relative to others on this site, but time has been dragging very slowly for me. I am not sitting here pining away for her return, but I do wake up every day to the mantra that she isn't coming back. Not sure that is healthy or not.

I am somewhat flabbergasted that my partner of 20 years can just eradicate me from her life. I wouldn't be able to do that to her. Maybe that is my problem.

I am holding true to giving her time and space to sort out her demons. Just hope I don't grow a whole bunch of my own demons in the meantime!

Knee is getting better, so I am looking forward to diving into some physical GAL activity sometime this week. Need to take it slow so I don't reinjure. Physical activity will help me immensely.

[Luckyclover]

((Hugs))

Welcome to hell... let's all walk through it together and get to the other side.

Embrace your situation. Enjoy the freedom.

I'm trying to live up to this one... ^^ It's hard tho'.

[jbnati]

AC, I'm glad to hear you'll be able to start back into your physical activity soon. Although you're not 100% yet, I'm sure that just starting back will help your PMA tremendously!