I'm sorry that you are going through this again. You won't meet a group of more solution-oriented, empathetic and compassionate people than you'll find here on DB. So, definitely, keep posting.
I wanted to write to you because we have some similarities in our sitches. We're both around the same age and have been with our spouses for around the same amount of time. And my H always maintains that we are really good friends - and you know what, he's right! So, I definitely understand the type of connection that you have with your H.
But I want to deliver a 2x4 to you today. You have got to work more actively to put yourself in a priority position in your life. What you want matters and what you need matters. H does not seem to be the person to give you those things right now. You have to find out how to dig deep and give those things (your wants and needs) to yourself. Do you want more love? How can you love yourself more? What do you like to do? What do you want out of life besides a romantic relationship? How can you get those things? You've been in this situation before and you already know this stuff.
It is definitely time to detach from H and connect with yourself. And you (and me too!) have to figure out a way to stay connected with yourself and to keep yourself in a top priority position in your own life. I'm rooting for you!
Me: 33, H: 32 M: 12 years T: 13 years No kids D-Day: 7/2009 Separated: 10/12/10 Future Unknown GITS
"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
