I disagree. The one point you might have to think on is this..
Is an affair a deal breaker for you?
It can only be a yes or no answer.
Shooting from the hip I will tell you that there are very few times that there is NOT someone involved. It is almost non-existent around here. (DB.com) But in the scheme of things it only matters if it is a deal breaker. The WAS is responsible for their actions. You can hold them accountable. No where does DB tell you to allow yourself to get walked on.. yes, I mean that. Deciding if this is a deal breaker or not is the key. You have to understand the motives behind your decision. This is where the idea of thinking about things for 48 hours comes from.
Whatever your reasons are for wanting to stay and work on it..stick by them.
"I know that I DO love him very much and he DOES still love me, he is just confused."
You love the idea of who he was. This will drag you down if you are not careful. Treat this as a new relationship.. look at everyday as a chance to learn something new about your S. Make sure who you remember is still in there somewhere. I know I sound a bit like I am telling you to D.. but I am not. You just need a fresh perspective to look at things with. I always tell people this is your time to shine. That is what will draw people close to you.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
