Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Maybe it's a time of year thing. I remember last year I just wanted nothing to do with XW at the start of the school year.

I'm back to that again. I think the email exchange between her and the school official where she emphasized it was "MS." CTH set me off.

She forwarded another email where the officials responded "MS. CTH and Mr. CTH."

I am guessing she just doesn't see that as insensitive. I sent her an email saying that. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did it anyway.

In any case, this is the annual IEP meeting again and the two options are next Tuesday, which is XW's birthday, and next Thursday.

I am definitely not going to agree to her birthday. I had tons planned for that day already.

I need to flush the anger between now and then.

I was having some good moments yesterday. D9 had an after school meltdown and I was able to get her back on track. That was good.

The girls then went to the health club, and I felt like XW is the one missing out. I had my faults, but I was 100 percent dedicated to her.

I felt like I will be fine. The money is working out. Eventually someone else will come into my life. I felt like I really didn't want her back, not with all the negativity and depression.

It's one thing to say it or realize it, it's another when you feel that way. I am guessing over time the feeling will grow and I won't have to remind myself so much.

I will make the meeting on the 8th and I will look good and I will speak up. The days of deferring to XW are over. D9 is not off to a good start this year at her new school. The more I think about it, the more I'd like to figure out a way to hold her back a year. It's the only thing we haven't tried.

I'm liking Thursday mornings. D12's school district has two start times. An earlier one for K-6 and a later one for 7-12. The district read studies where older kids just don't function well early in the mornings. So D12's school starts 45 minutes later.

After dropping D9 off at school, D12 and I had 45 minutes together. This is going to work out really well. We went to eat breakfast. D12 isn't happy about the house. XW keeps taking them to open houses. They are looking at small house one-story houses, slightly more square feet than mine.

First thing is XW still hasn't received an offer on the house. I can see why. Even though she's dropped the price $20k, the house needs another $20k -- minimum -- in repairs.

Eventually though she'll have to leave and, from the price range she's looking at, she's realizing that she'll have to make major adjustments in life style.

D12 doesn't want that though. Now she has a big house -- my old one -- where there's plenty of space away from D9, plus the big back yard, the creek, the house has charms. And she has the small house -- my current one -- where there's not a lot of room so we make do.

Some day it's going to be two small houses for D12. Two small bedrooms. A severing of the link to her childhood.

Just your typical hurricane of emotions -- good, bad.