LP, I anticipated a response similar to this. I do have a question though….Why? My W is absolutely tormented. My intentions, thoughts, feelings, and desires are completely jumbled in her head. I know she probably doesn’t care about them right now, maybe won’t for a long time if ever. Isn’t clarity more productive than absolute confusion?
It is very frustrating to me to have her walking around with inaccurate interpretations of where I’m at personally. What good comes of that? I think communicating my feelings with absolute clarity would make me feel better too. I don’t want to look back on this calamity years down the road and feel that my lack of clarity led to the destruction of our family.
I know that a letter may seem as a bit of a “pursuit”. In some way it may push her away. I personally don’t see how she could be farther away from me than she is right now. She absolutely hates me because of things she has construed or misread in her head.
I know actions speak louder than words. I am acting as I think I should. I feel better about myself and still have work to do….a lot of it. I am being the best I can be given the circumstances.
I know anything I say or write or do is going to be met with skepticism. I know she probably won’t believe it. Maybe she will believe some of it. Maybe the words will help validate some of the actions she has witnessed over the past two months. Maybe it will help alleviate her tension if it diffuses a thought she has about me. That is her choice.
Still not saying I’m doing it, but these are my thoughts.
TG, I am trying to deal with and change a lot of my feelings. I have been bitter for a long time. Trying to view positives but my instincts are still negative. I appreciate the perspective.
