I think your frustration just came to a head, was bottled up, and had to come out sometime. Sure - you backslid in the DB'ing, but we all do from time to time. You just have to realize you did it, and if you had it do again, you may have done it differently. Take this as an opportunity to learn.
It actually sounds to me like your H is still reeling from the letter. I think it's possible he may be repeatedly asking for your list because he's trying to get it right. One thing I got from by DB coach is he said we have the freedom to choose the positive or negative spin of any situation. Since we have this freedom, we might as well choose the positive.
Hopefully that makes some sense It's 12:30am here.
Try not to focus on what he's going to do or not going to do. Focus back on yourself. Be the best E you can possibly be. Just like lc4 said - get back to life and GAL. This may go a long way in alleviating the anxiety.
It's 12:30am here.
