New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

I usually hate poetry, but I copied "Ivictus" by William Ernest Henley in my journal. Thanks for sharing that.

I still have a question regarding the notion "to heal". I understand that we are wounded emotionally and spiritually. I also understand that "time heals all wounds". But what do I do regarding dating.

I believe I am over the obsession of wondering where and/or whom the XW is with. But, if something happens now, it is her right due to us being divorced now.

For the most part I have accepted the situation that I am in. (This was harder to do than you would think). I am now divorced. There are times when I still can't believe this, but more often than not, I know where I am. The pain will still come unexpectedly, but not as frequent as before. I believe this will always happen until we get back together, or I marry someone else. Please respond if you think differently.

But, isn't a part of healing moving on. Should I begin to casually date again. Does this help with the healing process. Does this help with my self-esteem. (I know, I should be happy with myself regardless of what others think of me, but it helps when you feel attractive or liked).

Then again, should I not date for x amount of months because I may or may not be ready. And if I am not ready (on the rebound) could I make some serious mistakes. But then again, how do you know when you are ready? Others might say it is like a bike, if you fall off, you just have to get back on.

The last thing that goes through my mind, even though I should not factor this into my equations, is will dating help or hurt DBing with the XW? Will she become jealous and realize she may loose me? That I will not just put my life on hold waiting for her. Will she become upset and begin dating others? Will she care?

Am I not ready to date because I still think this way? I just don't know.