I have a tendency to get jump on this site and post raw emotion. Not sure if that’s good or not. I will always love my wife. I do not like what she is right now. I am rebuilding myself and her incessant kicking to the head is becoming beyond frustrating. Fixing 30 years of my own personal misery is difficult enough. Ignoring my own issues in the presence of my kids so I can be the best father possible is hard enough.

I empathize with her. I don’t know exactly what she’s going through but I don’t like to see her in pain. Maybe my raw thoughts are a way of detaching. I want nothing more to help her and she vilifies me at every opportunity based on crap she makes up in her head.

I have pretty much always been cynical. I have recently made the conscious choice to view things from a positive perspective while minimizing negative thoughts. It has really helped me. This being that has inhabited my W is doing the equivalent of spitting in my face. Maybe I need to redouble my resolve.

She has my intentions and thoughts so screwed up in her head its ridiculous. She told me yesterday that I keep shifting my positions on things. I don’t. She told me one day I want the D and the next I don’t, etc. I have never said I agreed with the D. I have accepted its happening but do not agree…been as clear about this as humanly possible.

I am going to write a letter to her clearly explaining my thoughts. Not sure I’ll send it to her. Should I post it here for a critique?

Good suggestion Val. I will try that approach. BTW..she is definitely creating her own fuel. I have not given her much ammo over the last 2 months. She is carrying tremendous guilt IMHO.

W told me yesterday that she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. I had to throw my 2cents in of course….I told her that she is full of hate and anger towards me and that it is destroying her because she is not a hateful person. At some point the hate needs to dissipate.

She came in today after I returned from an interview and seemed irritated that I didn’t sit down in a yoga pose and divulge every detail of it. I told her that “yesterday she was repulsed by my voice and my face and today she wants to sit down for a chat. I’m not a mind reader. Never have been.” No response from her.