I'm Far from perfect

[25yearsmlc]

So,

Stop asking her anything that's not essential, and most things are NOT essential. Text or email if you can. Reduce contact with her until you are ready to not blow it. That means at least a few weeks...at least. Plus the less contact you have, the more that your changes, if you make them, will be noticeable after you are apart awhile.

You said you have to stop blowing this, and I agree. So stop asking and pursuing like she told you to do. That's what you said you would begig doing "now"...

the very NEXT time you saw her, you asked her about OM...what?? that has to be a record for shortest lived "DB Change"...

Be disciplined and take the advice we are all hurling your way (and take your own advice)--Or don't, and live with regrets the rest of your life.

This is not easy, but it is simple. It's hard but just not that complicated.

She said she wants space...so give it to her. No brainer.

She said "no" to your question. Of course it's an inappropriate question
and of course she could lie, but she could also tell the truth...
what if you let that possible lie, comfort you enough so you don't keep probing and ripping the scab off? What if you at least pretend you believe her, just so it keeps you from blowing it more? Food for thought...

Do you get this?^^^

If you are trying to get her to see what m to you could be like, "from this day forward", which means letting go of the past and embracing a new loving future together (which I hope is the goal)

then start by shutting up about the OM. Otherwise, that constant breaking of your promises and pursuing her when she wants space,

and nagging and needing and obsessing, is what she'll expect of more of with marriage to you. She won't want that. Frankly, who would?

So, what's the solution to this complex issue? Oh, so simple...
Being quiet, being still...working on you and you only. For real.


Be the best man you can be, and leave the rest of it - up to God. HE knows and He gets it. Trust Him. Let Him change you. It's okay that you can't do this by yourself but you do have to do it...period.

Good luck