Took the words right out of my mouth gritter. Well said.
I know it's so hard RO. It's so hard to love especially with the venom. But know that the venom is what gritter is saying... confusion, fear. Fear is a huge one!
If you are a good h and are treating her with kindness and respect.. her venom is HER guilt. It's easier to be mean to you, get angry, lie, rewrite history.. etc because if she does that, she does not have to CONFRONT HERSELF. People say "don't fuel the fire". Sometimes that's not possible. Sometimes, if you are truly giving her no fuel to her fire, she will create some.
Yes you don't deserve her anger. yes it p!sses you off. Yes you deserve better. Makes sense. All normal feelings, but not necessarily stuff you should react on.
Something I find really helpful for myself is to ask myself "am I acting in a loving way?" It's really challenging because sometimes fear can look like love. Anger can look like love. We can very easily twist love into what is beneficial to self.
For me, this stops my anger from turning into hate. Stops the venom from being so toxic. Stops me from giving venom back.
I am so sorry she is hurting you right now. Continue to vent here. We are here for you!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
