SLC: "But here is the dilema. Do I continue to DB, and for how long. Does this mean I can't date. When do I move on."
This is entirely your decision. Read the end of my signature line.
Look, I too am open to one day reconciling with my XW. But the person she has become is not the one I want to be with. I sure as heck am not going to wait around for her to morph back into the woman I married, you know, the one that "respected" me and placed high value on the M. So I DB without expectations, moving on to live life to the fullest and trying to do my best for my kids.
SLC: "I hear from others that I need to wait to heal. I just don't know what that means."
It just means we've all been wounded mostly emotionally and spiritually. Wounds leave scars, but they do heal, and it does take time. The old adage - "time heals all wounds".
I posted the following poem before on my thread. It may provide insight.
"Ivictus" by William Ernest Henley.
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
