I'm still here

[~¤DG¤~]

Today was a pretty good day.
I find that my thoughts and feelings regarding my H seem to come and go. Sometimes he is all I think about, and other times he doesn't even cross my mind.
Tonight S10 had his appt with his C. I would say that dealing with this S/D is probably the hardest thing he is going through right now. He said tonight on the way home that he just wants to feel happy again. I think he went into counseling thinking it was going to fix everything for him. I can understand that, he is young, plus he's heard me talk about how much it has helped me.
I told him that the only thing that will help all of this is time. C won't fix all of your problems foe you, but it will give you tools to help deal with things in a healthy way. I know what he is feeling is normal and he needs to go through it, I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything better. I have a feeling that we all wish that sometimes.

I talked with S15 a little bit last night while S10 was at his karate lesson, and asked him how he was dealing with things. He and his brother are so different. S15 doesn't express himself the way S10 does. He says he is doing ok. He won't deny that he misses H, but it isn't affecting him like it is his brother. I can understand that. He's older and internalizes a lot. I often worry that he is trying to down play his feelings because he doesn't want me to feel bad.
I'm very blessed to have such awesome kids. We have become a lot closer in the past 6 months and one thing God has taught me is the importance of family.

2 of my best girlfriends and I are making plans to take a road trip sometime next summer, so I am going to try my hardest to start saving for it. I've never traveled much. The last time I flew I was in 2nd grade. That always floors people when I tell them that. We're thinking Chicago or someplace along the lines of that. It gives me something to look forward to.