I am fortunate in that I don't have to deal with the boys' dad...ever really...except just recently in court
however
when they have asked about him I tell them the truth
he is a sick person who is unhappy with himself and so couldn't manage to take care of himself. nothing that they did or did not do could change that and no medicine or therapy he got could change that about him
it doesn't mean he doesn't love them in his own way
it means that he can't show them in the ways they want to be shown
I have never bad-mouthed him but I have not made him into a hero either especially not at my expense
I don't expect anything I ever say to him to make a difference and I don't expect he will ever change his opinion of himself or of me...he sees himself as a victim and I am the evil bad guy
I wonder why you are afraid of her... how could she get more money from you or take more time away from you and the kids?
how can you telling the truth (in a diplomatic and rational manner) make any of those things happen
