It doesn't matter what you say, she will think what SHE wants. It doesn't matter what you do, SHE will perceive it how SHE wants.
See the pattern.. it's all about HER!!
It sukks, but it some ways it's freeing. You get to act how YOU want. The only person who you have to satisfy in your actions is YOURSELF.
That being said, what kind of RO do you want to be? Not who do you want your wife to hopefully see today or tomorrow or right stinking now!! Do you want be loving and understanding whilst sticking up for himself? If so, be that man.. regardless of whatever craziness your w does.
I personally feel my good changes is causing some the venom from my w. I'm ok with that.. because being loving and caring for BOTH myself and my w is exactly who I want to be.
Continue to be the Best RO you can. She may or may not see it, but at the end of the day.. your head will be held high.
I understand wanting to avoid confrontations. I've been eager to avoid my w too. The venom blows and I don't actually know if it will ever not be painful. Maybe not hurt as much, but the sting will still be there.
Set a boundary here too if you feel necessary. IMO there is nothing wrong with taking a break from the sitch to get yourself emotional healthy for the storm ahead. As long as you working on yourself vs. running away. This D affects YOU TOO. Take time to care for yourself.
(( ))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
