In the eye of my storm

[LITB]

I'm glad to see you've such a good perspective on all this. It sounds like you are in a really good place. You're taking the positives without letting your expectations get out of control.

Thanks JB. I do well for the mostpart, however I do have my moments. Time and patience......then some more time and patience.

We will all get there one way or the other.

[LITB]

I will be heading to NM tomorrow morning to spend the long weekend with my children. I changed my flight for tomorrow from the afternoon to the first flight of the day. Now I will be able to pick up my kids from school and head right up the mountain.

My W scheduled dentist appointments for our children on Tuesday at noon. We had discussed possibly going to lunch at that time. I jokingly told her that I thought she was buying me lunch that day. Long story short, we agreed to have lunch together tomorrow, dinner as a family on Monday evening and lunch Tuesday after the dentist again as a family. At least she didn’t say no.

So with keeping expectations in check, it still makes me think. What do any of these pleasantries mean? Do they mean anything? Is it possible that I am being too nice? Does it matter? Do I find myself on the right path to R? Is my W being nice to avoid me pushing forward with the custody evaluation? So many questions that may never get answered.

I do know that it gives me the opportunity to show my W that I am a great father and a great guy. I know that I will be a better husband to my W if we work things out. I know that I am not done with my R/M. I know that I am a better person because of this experience. I know that if things do not work out between my W and I, there will be OW in my future that will be happy to have what my W threw away. I know that many of you feel the same way. We have decided to become better people despite the outcome of our situations. Life is good.

I know not to have expectations, because that will lead to a HUGE disappointments.

On a different note, I will be meeting with a managing partner of an engineering firm in NM on Tuesday morning. He happens to be married to my W’s cousin. The irony. I may very well be moving to NM sooner than I anticipated. We shall see.

Speaking of ironies. The name of my thread is “In the eye of my storm”. The last hurricane and my MIL have the same name. God sure has a sense of humor.

[LITB]

Long story short, we agreed to have lunch together tomorrow, dinner as a family on Monday evening and lunch Tuesday after the dentist again as a family. At least she didn’t say no.

I like the positives, but the more I think about them.....they make me feel stuck. Stuck holding onto hope. Even without expectations, it is a challenge to shove that hope aside. Ugh..just thinking out loud.

[jbnati]

So with keeping expectations in check, it still makes me think. What do any of these pleasantries mean? Do they mean anything? Is it possible that I am being too nice? Does it matter? Do I find myself on the right path to R? Is my W being nice to avoid me pushing forward with the custody evaluation? So many questions that may never get answered.

IMO, let it ride for now. Enjoy the positive. You've been doing this long enough to be prepared for the pull back.

On a different note, I will be meeting with a managing partner of an engineering firm in NM on Tuesday morning. He happens to be married to my W’s cousin. The irony. I may very well be moving to NM sooner than I anticipated. We shall see.

Pray about it. You will know if it's His will. I will be praying for you as well.

Speaking of ironies. The name of my thread is “In the eye of my storm”. The last hurricane and my MIL have the same name. God sure has a sense of humor.

I got a chuckle out of this one. Of course, if you're truly in the eye of your storm right now...well, that means the eye wall is coming at you!

I like the positives, but the more I think about them.....they make me feel stuck. Stuck holding onto hope. Even without expectations, it is a challenge to shove that hope aside. Ugh..just thinking out loud.

Enjoy the positives while you're getting them. Enjoy them for what they are. I don't think you're stuck. If nothing else, this will benefit the kids.

[♪CS♪]

I like the positives, but the more I think about them.....they make me feel stuck. Stuck holding onto hope. Even without expectations, it is a challenge to shove that hope aside. Ugh..just thinking out loud.

Hope and expectations are a tough thing to untangle.

It's been said to box up the hope and put it on a shelf. That analogy still works for me. It's there waiting. If I ever need it. But if it's in your hand. Being held onto....

Expectations seem to be REALLY tough to ignore.

Peace man.

[LITB]

Thanks for the prayers as always JB. They are always very much appreciated.

I will definitely be praying about what my future has in store and the possibility of moving to NM as much as I do not want to.

I'm glad you got a chuckle out of the MIL irony.

As you said, I will enjoy the positives. I went to the mall to buy me a nice dress shirt for tomorrow. The W does make comments when I dress and smell nice.

[LITB]

Hope and expectations are a tough thing to untangle.

It's been said to box up the hope and put it on a shelf. That analogy still works for me. It's there waiting. If I ever need it. But if it's in your hand. Being held onto....

Expectations seem to be REALLY tough to ignore.

Peace man.

I usually do well with keeping both my hope and expectations in check. Sometimes I read too much into the positives. I need to keep planting seeds and then give them time to grow.

Time to go find that box to store that hope away. I allowed myself to get a bit anxious earlier.

I need to finish packing for my trip.

[LITB]

I'm @ the Albuquerque airport getting ready to fly back to San Francisco. Another great weekend overall.

The part that pisses me off is when my kids are distraught when I have to say good bye. When I had to put them on a flight to NM, it was my D8 who was upset. This time it was my S5. He didn't want me to leave and doesn't understand why daddy doesn't live with the family. The W was @ work, so she didn't have to witness the pain she had caused. Lucky me, I was privileged to deal with the MIL. The site of her repulses me.

Here is the good part. I had lunch with my W on Friday. I expected it to be a typical one hour lunch. Apparently she was not in a hurry, because it lasted over 2 hours. She lingered by the car when I was getting ready to leave.

Yesterday we went to the movies and to dinner as a family. I took my kids to get cards and gifts from the W before dinner as her birthday is next Tuesday. She was pleasantly surprised as she opened them at the restaurant. She thanked me several times.

The best part of the weekend was camping. Everyone had a blast. We played games, got muddy, made smores and just messed around in the forest. Good times.

As I said last week, I met with an engineering firm this morning. Hopefully something will come to fruition as I'm anxious to be close to my kids.

[jbnati]

LITB, I am glad you had a great weekend. Sorry about you having to watch your S5 go through the pain. I'm sure your W does see some of the pain when you're not there.

Good luck with the job!

I'll be staying tuned. Who know where this is going to lead? I just continue to keep you in my prayers.

[♪CS♪]

Good the hear from you man.

Seeing the kids hurt is the hardest part.

Just focus on what You CAN do. Based on what is. Not what you wish was.

Peace man.