Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[aeolianchaos]

Hi, Psych

Do feelings ever become educated?

What kinds of thoughts precede those feelings that you have?

How do you respond to those feelings when you experience them?

I think that you are doing very well with your changes. I wouldn't play it down just because they don't feel as dramatic anymore. Maybe that means they are sticking?

Sex still has the potential to be a moment of meaning. As you acknowledge - its still better than no sex. If you want to experience better sex or a different kind of sex, what does that mean to you?

What might it mean to your W? It sounds like she initiates, based on what you have shared here.

It is interesting that you perceive that your wife is nervous, but at the same time enjoying the new improved Psych. Do you think that her nervousness is solely based in a fear of your behavior?

Is it possible that in making your changes and confronting yourself in the way that you have, is changing a dynamic in the relationship that takes you both out of the 'comfort' cycle (I think its entirely possible to be 'comfortable with a certain degree of discomfort or acrimony)?

You have your own personal strengths that help you to make your changes more persistent - do you feel like you're using those strengths to your advantage?

I think it is interesting you want to 'soak up' the affection from your W and yet you recognize that in doing so you may use it all up. It's kind of a 'precious resource' paradigm that you seem to have formed..

I'd like to propose that you try some kind of realistic self-affirming thinking every day or so for a week, and see if that maybe makes your W's affection look a little different to you. Not less valuable - but maybe it becomes easier for you to accept what she has to offer at the moment without that feeling of needing to 'soak it up.' Maybe it even becomes a little sweeter because you see it as something she chooses to give you?