Not a real productive C session today. She kept wanting to talk about the M….I really didn’t. I’m fed up with it. I can’t change my W. She resents everything I say. She tells me she doesn’t trust me. I am trustworthy. She spins everything I do or say to the absolute most negative extreme possible. She even does this with things I don’t say or do…she just assumes my negativity. I can look myself in the mirror and I know she can’t.
I told C I am done trying to “convince” W. I am planning for the worst (D) and slightly hoping for the best (R). She wants to see my W again but understands that she probably will not set an appt.
I did mention my wife's desire to move out and take the kids intermittently. She didn't seem to think it was such a bad idea which kind of surprised me. Said it "was going to happen eventually" which is pretty close to what my W says. Am I wrong on this one?
I am beyond frustrated but plan to keep working on me. I can no longer allow my W’s negativity to bring me down at all. I need to be strong for myself and my kids. I love who I know my wife really is more than anything in this world. I cannot stand what she is right now. She is full of hate and disdain. She is in pain and I do feel for her but I cannot help her if she doesn’t want the help. I need to find more GAL activities that help me meet people.
I took the kids to the dentist today and I’m taking them to their first football practice tonight and am really looking forward to it. I am then going out with some friends for a few drinks. I need one.
