Speeding away from the scene of the crime, leaving the LBS in a state of confusion.
What seems the worst, is only what you spin from it.
The worst part has already happened, and you are here still.
These things that you are about to encounter, you must feel them, process them, and keep them into the proper perspective for yourself.
What she is doing, isn't that she is doing them to you, rather she is doing them for herself.
I know it sux, but it only has to sukc as bad as you let it sukc.
When you finally get served ( and I assume it hasn't happened yet ) , the best course of action for you....
Is to set aside all of your feelings toward what is, or what isn't happening legally. Separate them , so that you can act from a place of thinking instead of a place of pure emotion. Making emotional decisions right now is not what is best for you....
Question for you ?
Will the outcome of this ( holding those papers in your hand ) make you love your wife any less ?
Let her go for now....
Now, isn't forever.
Try to limit any contact that does not pertain to the children, it is for the best right now.
Don't respond to every little demand that you will get from her legally ( and you will get them )
Don't respond to the personal attacks at all....
I would suppose that you will see some anger from her throughout this process...
She will need that to push away from you further. DO NOT feed that drama with her.
W just informed me - by e-mail - that she is filing for D this week.
I am so sorry, Telemark.
I think you're getting some wise counsel.
Originally Posted By: LearningPatience
Take a little time to process all the emotions I'm sure are swimming inside of you. Feel them, experience them, whatever you do don't ignore them.
You will be fine, that I think we can both agree on!
I agree. Take all the time you need to process this this.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
Thanks for the warning"
What else is there to say, really?
In my book, that was the perfect response.
Originally Posted By: lc4
And gee whiz...nice timing on her part (NOT) right when she had to know you were feeling a little sad/lonely about your son leaving for boot camp. Not respectful, not nice and NOT cool.
I agree. Very, very tacky.
Originally Posted By: lc4
Keep your heart and mind open to God's will. He will always lead you the right way.
Yes! Definitely do this. This is what I am praying for among other things.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
Honestly, I think God is leading me away from this mess.
I am going to disagree with you, Telemark. But note, this is only my opinion. I think God is leading you THROUGH this mess. He is making you a better man. He is growing you. There's a much bigger picture - bigger than you or I could imagine. You WILL persevere.
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Let her go for now....
Now, isn't forever
I agree with this.
While all of this appears to be very probable, too, it hasn't happened yet. She hasn't filed yet. OM hasn't moved yet.
Sorry for your pain, Tele. This is just another bump along the rocky road, and you know that. Keep it between the ditches and keep moving forward. Be strong and keep the faith. AC
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Sorry for the late response TM.. been deep in my own sh!t right now.
There is nothing I can add because ^^^^ has been great. Take exquisite care of yourself in the next upcoming days whilst you ride the wave of emotions.
(( ))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Wasn't on too much lately due to work projects and other things. I'm off until next Tuesday, so I will drop in here and there to offer my unsolicited opinions and essays.
The only new development: received an e-mail from my W today, she had a pretty good idea how much her news yesterday bothered me. The e-mail simply said:
"Feeling better today?"
I chose not to reply.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Wasn't on too much lately due to work projects and other things. I'm off until next Tuesday, so I will drop in here and there to offer my unsolicited opinions and essays.
The only new development: received an e-mail from my W today, she had a pretty good idea how much her news yesterday bothered me. The e-mail simply said:
"Feeling better today?"
I chose not to reply.
Good to hear from you. I hope the work projects are helping to keep your mind occupied as well. I was just worried about you. It's the mom in me.
The email she sent you just burns me up! Grrr...HOW RUDE!!!! Amazing how our WAS think we can just "feel better" overnight. Good for you for not answering at all.
Remember how valued you are here. Enjoy your long weekend. I hope it's filled with people and things you love.
