Good meeting with my lawyer today. What I like most about him that is addition to doing an excellent job at advocating for my rights/needs and standing up for me (when I'm too weak to do so for myself), he also is a Christian man. He does not "push" religion on his clients whatsoever, but knowing that I am a very spiritual person, he helps talk me through some of the issues from not just a legal point, but also from a Christian point.
He does not think that H or I are 100% certain we want this divorce. He has suggested that I ask my H to participate in joint (NOT using the word "marriage") counseling, not necessarily as a means to reconcile the marriage, but most importantly to reconcile some issues we have in communicating so we can be effective co-parents SHOULD we divorce. So I'm presenting that to my H, and he can take it from there. If he wishes to pursue the divorce (my lawyer hasn't heard from his in 1 1/2 months), then the ball remains in his court. If he'd like to participate in joint counseling, all he has to do is give me the word, and I'll call the therapist my attorney highly suggested.
If I've been told once, I've been told 1,000 times...when it's right to give up, you know. And I won't just know for a few hours or a couple of days or weeks, it will be a feeling and a truth that sticks with me. I am nowhere near that point right now, and my attorney sees that in me. He sees the same in my H's actions. So...taking deep breaths, continuing to focus on making life great for the kids and me, but keeping my heart and mind open to what God's will is. I believe there is a "good" lesson somewhere in all this turmoil for me; I'm just trying to figure out what it is.
