Call me old fashioned, but if there are 3 children and she will always be their mother, then I would try everything in my power to save the marriage. Since the wife seems at the moment to "say the words" that she wants to save the marriage, I would take her at her word, until actions proved otherwise. That will be very hard for Accuray.
Since her wife has said part of what her searching and actively pursuing multiple OM was about fulfilling unmet needs, Accuray and his W probably need real professional marriage counseling help to work through some of the issues.
I am a real believer that no matter how much we feel we have been wronged by our spouse, we probably have a "degree" of responsibility. Sometimes it is small and other times it is large. I know that in my case, I did things in my marriage that made my wife feel like I was emotionally abandoning her. I also did things that enabled her to further abandon me emotionally. It was only after I apologized to my wife for the things that I had done wrong in my marriage and shown her that I was a different person, that she found the strength to change how she treated me.
Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
