Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

I totally f'd up last night. I wasn't feeling well when I got home and H started in on how I won't talk to him about D. I kept saying I wasnt ready to talk and didn't feel well and he kept going with how his feelings don't matter. He said that I am the one with the communication problem because I refuse to talk about D. (This is untrue, I told him that we can talk about D, but I will never start the conversation, he can say anything he wants and I wil listen but at this point I have said all I need to say about it.)

One thing lead to another and I completely blew up. I did EVERYTHING wrong. I yelled, screamed, cried, begged, pleaded, followed him abour the house. I forgot everything DB I had worked on for the last month. I tried to appologize this morning but it didn't work.

However, in my moments of rage last night, I may have actually said some things to H that finally sunk in and made him realize how he has been acting.

I told him that forcing me to mutually agree to D was just an attempt to excape the consequences of his actions. That he doesn't want to look like the bad guy in front of friends and family and that he doesn't want to give up financial comfort, so he wants to stay living here yet have a single life. I told him that he is actually the one who has communication problems and he is just simply afraid to explore inside himself to find out WHY he is so miserable. That blaming my for his misery and then saying that I am perfect and can't fix anything is not going to cut it any longer. I told him that there has to be a reason and that I want to be there for him to find out what it is, but I will never compromise my morals by permitting divorce.

This morning, I got a txt this morning that H is willing to go to MC one more time! I must have said something that sunk in.