Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

Val - thanks for the response.

What can you do to change this dynamic?

To stop being jealous? I guess what everyone calls drop the rope - stop reacting to her and focus on myself. I'm having a real hard time with this - how do you stop reacting to other people's actions and behavior.

Re: the two boundaries - yes they are to protect me. After all her flat denials and blaming me for the breakdown of our relationship - I have fully accepted my part in the failure of our M. If she has consistently lied to me then there is no hope - I asked for honesty and openess and if it's not there, there is no hope.

Lets be honest here - Carlos is not texting her late at night to say have a nice day - he is persuing her and she has not stopped him. For her to say she is working on our R and to be texting with guys late at night is direspectful and yet another little lie - "Oh I only have the phone in the bedroom for the alarm", I call it BS. I feel like I am being treated like a doormat.