SA, my heart goes out to you, because I have been through this too. And my xh now wonders why they do not send hims cards and gifts on his birthday.
Our children do come through it. I think my middle son needs therapy, but but the other two are more or less OK. They are angrier with their father than I am at this point. for what he did to them, and for what they saw him dong to me. As my middle son said 'I could get past almost everything else, but the cruelty'
Our example is vital - the fact that I can forgive my h and exchange emails with him. the fact that I still care tells them that love is enduring and kind. So is the fact that I have boundaries and would not accept his abusive behaviour when it was happening . . . . They are coming to see his behaviour as a mental illness, but one that continues to hurt them.
Emotionally our MLC spouses are in a very strange place that I honestly do not think any normal person can understand. We just have to realise that they are working through something.
It is awful seeing our children hurt, but it surely a symptom of the depth of your h's crisis that he is behaving this way?
