For me, the worst part of H's MLC is the hurt it causes my children and then trying to help steer them through the path of destruction so they end up with a good moral foundation.
I have a question for those that have studied this or have been going through it for a long time.
Does the MLCer ever avoid something because they can't deal with the feelings that it creates or might create?
I question this because I have anger at my H for ignoring our D's b-day to celebrate the birth of ow's new grandson. H was obviously there the night ow's grandchild was born. He went back the next day (D's b-day)as one of the things he did that did not include coming to visit our D.
I just can't comprehend his looking at the ow's D and baby and not remember he was there 13 years ago with me having our youngest.
Maybe I'm just wanting a different way I could possibly view this instead of thinking that H is so far gone he could have cared less what his actions did to our D.
These are the kind of wounds for children that leave a lifetime scar.
BTW - D did get her very expensive cell phone. Not only that but he bought our other D the same phone. I will tell you how this all ended.
When the girl's came home and S24 found out what his Father had done, he was angry. He was very angry for what his Dad had done by ignoring his little sister's b-day. He was angrier still to think his Dad tried to buy her out. I did try talking to S about it, but he wasn't listening...
A little later D18 came down and asked me if I'd seen what S24 had posted on FB. Since I do not actively use my RL FB, I said no. She read it to me. It said something to the effect that it must be nice to have the money to try and buy someone because you are such a poor excuse for a human being and father. I am ashamed to carry your name. I hope there are better examples of what it is to be a man down your line. Since H and S are not connected, H couldn't see what S wrote until someone who was connected to both, commented on it. Of course they did, which was S's intention.
S hasn't talked to his Father since he left. S, as you can tell, is very hurt and angry at his Dad. I believe he has taken this harder than our other children. He is deeply sensitive and his Dad was the man he looked up to and wanted to be like.
I have tried to explain to S that I believe his Dad is going through MLC and he gets it because his Dad is so different now. I wish I could get him to go and talk with a professional as I believe he holds his anger as a shield.
