One thing that worries me is that you have continued to resist setting up a clear and defined financial plan with your W. By the looks of this. It would most definitely take a L involved. The "loan" thing will not hold up.
I sense you resist from fear of causing problems.
But this informal plan is doing nothing but causing problems.
Especially considering your past, and your W's resentment of you regarding finances.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
