WTF?!?! - Artpay Otway

[Denver_2010]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I'm not sure that I agree with that I'm using my SS to get to my W, but I agree with everything else. All I can say is, I know.

Further Update...

My grandpa passed away this afternoon.

It was not totally unexpected. He was 92 years old and has had some really bad health problems for the past year.

Unfortunately, he passed away as I was on my way to go visit with him at hospice care. I had seen him earlier in the weekend, but he was unconscious. I feel extremely badly that I did not go to see him yesterday, but my dad had told me that he was doing much better.

As it relates to my sitch...

I texted my W letting her know the news.

She texted back telling me that she was very sorry and that she would call me once her students had been let out for the day.

W called later in the afternoon.

W and I spoke for a while. I broke down when talking about my grandpa. W was very sympathetic. She told me that I shouldn't beat myself up too much for not having made it to see him. We talked about a similar thing happening to her when her dad's mother passed away about 10 years ago.

W said that she knew that I would have a hard time when my grandpa died. I asked her why. She said because I have never gone through a death in my family... and what she knows about me.

I was very emotional. She said that she was "sorry". I asked her why. She said because she knows that I feel alone right now. I said, 'I am alone'... she didn't hear me and said, 'what?' I said told her never mind and moved the convo along.

She told me that she wanted me to know that she cares. She told me that if I didn't want to be alone tonight or later in the week to let her know and that she and ss could meet me for dinner or something.

She asked me when the funeral was. I told her. She said, 'well, let me know if you want me to be there with you. I understand if you don't with the way things are though.' or something like that.

I said, 'It's not about me wanting you to be there W. Of course I want you to be there. I don't know. We can talk about it later.'

W's tone was basically an acknowledgement that nothing has changed from her point of view on our status. Or, maybe it's worse. Who knows. I don't know why I expected anything different, but I admit that in the midst of everything going on, there was hope that there would be more from my W.

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Feeling like I'm one of my dogs dying from my life becoming a country/western song.