I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. He'll be in my prayers.
I'm gonna hold off on any 2x4's (however I do agree with everything said ^^^) because I know how hard it is to be going through a family hardship w/o your spouse. Needing the support, wishing it was from w, and realizing that ain't gonna happen. It sukks alot.
Do you have any friends or family members that can be your support through this tough time? I know - it's not your w.. but having someone to cry to WILL help. It will also help slow down this emotional rollercoaster that have been on.
My IC said "Don't just take care of yourself.. now is the time to take exquisite care of yourself"
Take care of yourself Denver. ((()))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I'm not sure that I agree with that I'm using my SS to get to my W, but I agree with everything else. All I can say is, I know.
Further Update...
My grandpa passed away this afternoon.
It was not totally unexpected. He was 92 years old and has had some really bad health problems for the past year.
Unfortunately, he passed away as I was on my way to go visit with him at hospice care. I had seen him earlier in the weekend, but he was unconscious. I feel extremely badly that I did not go to see him yesterday, but my dad had told me that he was doing much better.
As it relates to my sitch...
I texted my W letting her know the news.
She texted back telling me that she was very sorry and that she would call me once her students had been let out for the day.
W called later in the afternoon.
W and I spoke for a while. I broke down when talking about my grandpa. W was very sympathetic. She told me that I shouldn't beat myself up too much for not having made it to see him. We talked about a similar thing happening to her when her dad's mother passed away about 10 years ago.
W said that she knew that I would have a hard time when my grandpa died. I asked her why. She said because I have never gone through a death in my family... and what she knows about me.
I was very emotional. She said that she was "sorry". I asked her why. She said because she knows that I feel alone right now. I said, 'I am alone'... she didn't hear me and said, 'what?' I said told her never mind and moved the convo along.
She told me that she wanted me to know that she cares. She told me that if I didn't want to be alone tonight or later in the week to let her know and that she and ss could meet me for dinner or something.
She asked me when the funeral was. I told her. She said, 'well, let me know if you want me to be there with you. I understand if you don't with the way things are though.' or something like that.
I said, 'It's not about me wanting you to be there W. Of course I want you to be there. I don't know. We can talk about it later.'
W's tone was basically an acknowledgement that nothing has changed from her point of view on our status. Or, maybe it's worse. Who knows. I don't know why I expected anything different, but I admit that in the midst of everything going on, there was hope that there would be more from my W.
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Feeling like I'm one of my dogs dying from my life becoming a country/western song.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Thanks for you thoughts and prayers everyone. My grandpa lived a good life and his passing was not unexpected... although you can never be fully prepared for the death of a loved one.
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Update...
W called me late this afternoon. I missed the call she left a voice message. She was calling to see how I was doing, to let me know that she and her family were thinking of me and my family. "Just touching base".
I did not call her back. I sent her a text instead.
Me: "Hey. Got your message. I'm okay. Thanks for the call. Tell your family thanks also."
That's it.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa. I know you are going through a lot. Hang in there.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Thanks for you thoughts and prayers everyone. My grandpa lived a good life and his passing was not unexpected... although you can never be fully prepared for the death of a loved one.
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Update...
W called me late this afternoon. I missed the call she left a voice message. She was calling to see how I was doing, to let me know that she and her family were thinking of me and my family. "Just touching base".
I did not call her back. I sent her a text instead.
Me: "Hey. Got your message. I'm okay. Thanks for the call. Tell your family thanks also."
Thanks LITB and CS.
Continued update from today...
W texted me back about an hour after my last text to her ^^^^
W: "Has the family made any plans? How are they?"
Me: "yeah. Funeral is on Friday. My dad is taking it hard. My grandma is handling it really well considering."
W: "That's too bad about your dad. Do you want me to go on Friday?"
Me: "No, I really, really appreciate it, but I will be okay."
W: "Is that other woman going?"
Me: "Of course not W"
A little later, she had SS call me to tell me that he was sorry to hear about my grandpa. He was sweet.
Good times.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
