Val, I think what you posted about on Saturday morning wasn’t so much abuse to abuse, rather it was abuse to dominate, to control.

Abuse is abuse when it is perceived as abuse. If that makes any sense. She may not think what she was saying and doing was abuse. On some level I hope she at least perceives how manipulative it was. You may never know.

Knowing how it made you feel and having this experience to draw upon will enable you to have a better relationship in the future.

Quote:
I have to realize that I am being nice and civil for me.

Yes, you do. At the end of the day we all need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we handled _________ with honor.

As for being self righteous, I’ve let it go in favor of revenge. smile This isn’t DB as I perceive it. It is what is stoking my fire now.

I believe the best revenge for me is to live, and live well, happy with the future I make from this. I will not rub her nose in it for doing so is without honor. I will live well for me.

Though she may rage outside my house I will build it to withstand the torrent and in doing so become indifferent to her machinations.

Each time I become frustrated with her or this sitch and slip into anger or recrimination I think about how I will live to negate whatever it is that is frustrating me. I am no saint. Some days are better than others. Slowly I am getting to this goal.

What are your goals? How will you measure progress?

BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill