To get here, I had to go no-contact. Everything went through email only, and only about the kids (even business/money went through the lawyers for quite a while). It was the only thing that worked to give me the space to heal.
It is funny, but I am reaching the point of having to go no contact again. We can't have a rational conversation because he constantly drags up the past as well as whining about the settlement. It is all over and done with and he cannot move on. I had what may be the stupidest conversation with him tonight and it frustrates me because that's 20 minutes of my life I can't get back. He actually accused me of having an affair 15+ years ago which never happened....but he has accused me of before, probably to justify his own actions. It is laughable....I had to hang up because it was so ridiculous....and this is 3+ years since our divorce.
So the actual divorce is not a magic decree that makes thing better. In my case the crazy continues and I realize I have to disengage.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
