hate to ask this but did you read the post I sent, along with others, that said "only send an ultimatum if you are truly ready for the answer to go either way"?
You sent it to her without first posting here...b/c you knew we'd tell you to think it out more and we'd ask what your goal was. You would probably have said to "end your pain"...has it ended?
Despite what you said about being ready "either way", seems you were not ready for her to leave.
Admit that You did this to manipulate her and "wake her up", but ooops, it backfired. Johnie, try hard to learn from this. IT's a big painful lesson...make use of it. Make something good come of it.
So now what?
You drew a line in the sand you were not prepared to enforce - but what choice do you have now? I'm asking.
Seems to me the only way to look half way strong and detached, is to go through with the boundary you set up. At least she'll respect you for that. You cannot cave in or backtrack now. That's the one option you don't have, if you expect any r to improve.
FWIW, if she leaves, she probably would have anyhow. Maybe you'll never know for sure. Instead of letting that haunt you, just don't.
If you simply could not DB and you simply could not put up with this limbo anymore, so be it.
And do you any actual proof of a present affair? Just asking.
That's my .02
I'm very sorry you are here.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
