Wow, what a change a weekend makes. I think you're looking for a job in NM for the best reason, and that's so your kids have easy access to both parents.
I'll continue to be praying for you.
You are right. I'm trying to do what is best for our children.
It is amazing how many times my perspective changes based on different things. I'd like to stay out here in California, however I am going to accumulate a significant amount of legal debt it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I'm in a catch-22.
There is a job posting with an international company there that I meet the requirements. I am going to submit my cover letter and resume today in hopes of landing it. At the same time I will pursue all other opportunities and exhaust all of my resources to land on my feet. I am confident something will come to fruition.
As always, thank you for the prayers JB. I truly appreciate them.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I am glad your trip to NM was a good one. Also the ability to be close to your kids is priceless and they will benefit from having both parents near them.
This is a big move for you and I am sure just the logistics will be a nightmare
Do you have added expectations by moving to NM?
I know you want to be close to the kids but I also realize that being around the W has been pleasant.
Good to see you around 2step. I hope you are doing well.
That is a good question. At the moment I don't have any expectations, because it usually leads to disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, I still have some hope to work things out with my W. If/When she comes to that conclusion, I will live my life as we are getting a D and she will not be my W.
Additionally she has a lot of work to do to earn my trust back.
Only time will tell.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
My L had a status conference on Friday with the Judge to let him know that I will be looking for a job in NM and we would like to push the custody evaluation back. The next status conference is set for November 4, 2011.
Hell, the D was originally scheduled to get finalized on September 25. It looks like it will be at least Feb/March of next year before that happens.
This weekend I will be heading back to NM to spend it with my kids. We will be camping until Monday with my sister and her family. It will be a blast.
On Monday we will be having dinner with my W as a family. Just the 4 of us. My W's 40th birthday is the following week and I wanted to do something together. This morning, I asked her if she was up to having dinner next Monday as a family or at the very least lunch with me on Tuesday before I leave. She accepted having dinner and might have lunch with me dependent on a client. I wasn't sure she would accept either. I'll chalk these up as positives.
She has completely changed from 3 weeks ago today. Last weekend when I was in NM, we went to church as a family, had lunch and spent the day together.
I have no idea if it means anything, but I like that things are positive.
Here is something I saved awhile back. I don't know who posted it.
Quote:
And the four phases I was taught as a newcomer here were reducing negative emotions, friendship, romance, and recommitment.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
As far as the positives...Keep expectations in check.
She is being friendly. Maybe she saw you fighting for custody and figured she better be nice so the D goes smooth.
Maybe she is reconsidering...
Just don't know.
So simply take it for what it is right now.
Peace man.
Thanks Country. You are exactly right. Gotta keep the expectations in check.
It just isn't possible to understand what her motives are. Or if they are motives at all. Maybe she just wants a free sushi dinner on me. Who knows?
If we can be cordial for our children, that is a good thing.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I am glad you guys are going out to dinner and spending some time together. It could be a positve step to your ultimate goal or it could be just as country said......keeping it friendly so that you do not go after her in the D.
It is very difficult however to keep expectations in check when things like this are happening in your mind you know what you want but are almost afraid to admitt it. It is natural.
I will say this........
If she wants to recommit I can promise you that she will let her intentions be known and there will be no guessing on your part.
Did she give you any second guessing when it was time to split?
If she wants back in you will have, you must have, the same type of clarity.
So have a nice lunch and dinner but in the end of the day recognize that is all it is.
I am glad you guys are going out to dinner and spending some time together. It could be a positve step to your ultimate goal or it could be just as country said......keeping it friendly so that you do not go after her in the D.
Indeed. I'd like to think that it is a positive step to my ultimate goal, however the reality is that she doesn't want me to make her life anymore difficult in the D. Either way, it gives me the opportunity to demonstrate what a great father I am and what she is walking away from.
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
It is very difficult however to keep expectations in check when things like this are happening in your mind you know what you want but are almost afraid to admitt it. It is natural.
This is very true. It is tough to keep the expectations in check when there seems to be a glimmer of HOPE. Of course that glimmer can be an illusion.
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
If she wants to recommit I can promise you that she will let her intentions be known and there will be no guessing on your part.
Did she give you any second guessing when it was time to split?
If she wants back in you will have, you must have, the same type of clarity.
There was no second guessing on the split. She dropped the bomb on me 9 months ago today and she hasn't looked back. At least to my knowledge.
Like you said 2step, there cannot be any ambiguity if/when she decides she wants back in. It has to be crystal clear and she has to be willing to do some work.
In the meantime, I must stay the course and keep moving forward.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Hell, the D was originally scheduled to get finalized on September 25. It looks like it will be at least Feb/March of next year before that happens.
Cool. More time to DB.
I'm glad to see you've such a good perspective on all this. It sounds like you are in a really good place. You're taking the positives without letting your expectations get out of control.
More time to DB.