Tank - yes, you are right. I need to take the focus off of my marriage and put it back on me, at least for now. I am NOT willing to live in an open marriage, which is why I've decided to go "dim" (can't go completely dark as we have kids) and only contact him as it relates to the kids, at least for a few weeks.
MY GAL activities include yoga, new job, bible study and lots of time with my friends, who have all been unbelievably supportive. I'm lucky that I have a very full life, which I have unfortunately put on hold during this whole disaster. I recognize that is part of the problem, so I'm doing what I can to change the focus from worrying about our relationship to paying attention to ME now. I know that will serve me well no matter which direction this goes.
I'm not sure about this OW thing. She is his high school sweetheart...contacted him out of the blue last winter to discuss her "marital woes", and they've been carrying on this affair ever since. Now that we are separated, and he's free to "pursue" the relationship more openly, I'm clearly concerned things will escalate between them and he will get closer and closer to her while pulling farther and farther away from me. She recently separated from her husband, so the stage is set for them to begin to pursue their relationship more fully. How devastating is THAT?
But that is not my concern at this point. I just have to focus on me, and limit my interactions with him until I can gain control of my anger. Then, and only then, can I begin to try to communicate with him in a more positive manner. Our communication has almost totally broken down at this point, and it's absolutely killing both of us. If nothing else, I'm hoping going dim will help improve our communication to the point of a decent friendship, which we don't even have right now.
