I am worried that you might start to explode back when the ex does something crazy. You might feel better, but what will that do to your kids? Try to be the bigger person and leave her to her own craziness. If you join in, that just makes both of your crazy and the kids have to witness it (and they will feel it / get wind of it, even if it doesn't happen in their presence).
I have to tell you - I was one of the worst-effected people on here - two short stints in the mental hospital as I fought suicidal thoughts because I just wanted the pain to stop, and debilitating anxiety attacks, plus PTSD. I am almost 5 years post-bomb, and 3 years post-divorce. It took me about 1.5 - 2 years post-divorce to really come back to myself completely - it takes more time than anyone wants to admit, but it does come. Color came back into my world, I am happy, my kids are great...
To get here, I had to go no-contact. Everything went through email only, and only about the kids (even business/money went through the lawyers for quite a while). It was the only thing that worked to give me the space to heal.
